We all survived the move...well everyone except for Chloe the fish, the move deemed to be too much for her! Caroline took it well, and we will be off to the pet store tomorrow to find a replacement!
It's been a really insane past two weeks. No matter how organized I thought I was, moving day was chaos! And the days following were strikingly similar!
We moved in on Tuesday, had a few days to get our bearings just in time to head up to Green Bay on Thursday for the rehearsal for our wonderful sitter Jessie's wedding. The wedding was Friday, and all of the kids had a part! Just a sign of how insane things have been, I took no pictures of the two most beautiful little flower girls or of the two most handsome program hander-outers in the history of the world, not a single one!!! Where was my head? Or more importantly, where was my camera?
Ugh, still so much to do! Boxes to unpack. Rooms to paint. And still the laundry doesn't stop!
So much has been happening, so many post worthy things, but this is the first time I've sat down on my couch in over a week and it feels pretty darn good, so good in fact that I think I may just sleep here!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
New Feature!
Well since I'm so good at keeping up with the Friday Friend or Family Feature, I thought I'd start a new Feature! This one, as many bloggers are familiar, is known as Wordless Wednesday. I think I'll be better about keeping up with this one!
So here we go, it's Wednesday!
So here we go, it's Wednesday!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Look what I got!
My friend Harmony works for this great company Steps4kids, Inc. After reading about my little Sam's letter trouble she sent me this...
This DVD is for ALL kids (recommended ages 4-7 yrs.) that are learning how to write their upper and lower case letters or are struggling with their writing. They are great for Kindergarten readiness or Summer catch up/keep up. The letters are demonstrated on lined paper which helps kids learn how to align their letters, but kids that are not ready for lined paper can use blank paper to learn the correct sequence to form the letters. There are also 100 sight words presented which is great for pre and early reading skills. Between writing the letters there are cute drawings that the kids learn by using the letters they have just practiced. This is a unique way to teach writing because it offers a visual modeling approach which has been shown to be extremely effective as many children are visual learners. Plus it allows kids the opportunity to learn independently while you observe from close by (in other words they get a break from their parents and teachers always telling them what to do :) Our DVDs are great for home practice, school use and for Homeschoolers! For more information check out our website at: www.Steps4Kids.com. We also offer an instructional Cursive DVD for ages 7+, however the FREE one is the printing DVD.
If you visit the site now, use the coupon code "summer" for $5.00 off the price of a DVD!
Now, I havn't actually had time yet to sit down with him and watch it, so I can't really give a review yet:) I just didn't want Harmony to think I forgot!
This DVD is for ALL kids (recommended ages 4-7 yrs.) that are learning how to write their upper and lower case letters or are struggling with their writing. They are great for Kindergarten readiness or Summer catch up/keep up. The letters are demonstrated on lined paper which helps kids learn how to align their letters, but kids that are not ready for lined paper can use blank paper to learn the correct sequence to form the letters. There are also 100 sight words presented which is great for pre and early reading skills. Between writing the letters there are cute drawings that the kids learn by using the letters they have just practiced. This is a unique way to teach writing because it offers a visual modeling approach which has been shown to be extremely effective as many children are visual learners. Plus it allows kids the opportunity to learn independently while you observe from close by (in other words they get a break from their parents and teachers always telling them what to do :) Our DVDs are great for home practice, school use and for Homeschoolers! For more information check out our website at: www.Steps4Kids.com. We also offer an instructional Cursive DVD for ages 7+, however the FREE one is the printing DVD.
If you visit the site now, use the coupon code "summer" for $5.00 off the price of a DVD!
Now, I havn't actually had time yet to sit down with him and watch it, so I can't really give a review yet:) I just didn't want Harmony to think I forgot!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Great news today!
Please go congratulate Amanda on her beautiful daughter! It was a loooong road and much celebration is in order! GREAT GREAT NEWS!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
On my mind
For the past year or so it has become quite apparent that Emma is really aware of the fact that she doesn't look like everyone else in our family.
It started with little comments when we were out doing errands like..."oh look mommy, that baby looks just like me!" or "mommy look, that lady has hair like mine!"
I thought it was sweet to watch her make those connections.
Then last fall there was a little melt down about gloves...she wanted a pair of yellow gloves so that her hands would look like Caroline's. She was so sad and crying and begged me to make her yellow. I don't remember all of details because it was months ago, and my mommy brain is on the fritz lately, but I do remember how it broke my heart. It was the first time that she had shown any sadness about not being the same color as Caroline or the rest of our family. I knew it was a big thing. I started to struggle with what to tell her. Do I start with the why she doesn't look like us? Do I start to talk about adoption? Do I focus on how we are the same on the inside? I struggled with trying to figure out how much a four year old could really take in and understand?
So instead I started to really emphasize how beautiful and special she was. Making a point to have her hair done in a way that she liked, or wearing the pretties she so loves! When I put her cream on after her bath I would tell her how soft and beautiful her skin was. Then she'd tell me "my brown skin. my brown skin is beautiful."
She started to seemingly feel proud. of her color. of her hair.
The more comfortable she began to be in her own skin, so to speak, her personality began to shine even more.
She definitely notices color, obviously. But she seems happy and content not to be blonde haired and blue eyed. She still thinks its fun to shout out "look mommy there's another Memmers! Do you see her? She looks just like me!"
So overall, the interracial side of things seems to be going well...I'm sure we'll have times were it will be a bigger deal than others but for now, everyone is happy.
On the adoption side though, I'm struggling.
From the very beginning, we have followed Emma's lead. Trying not to give her more information than she was ready to handle. Our first and foremost priority ever since Emma came into our lives was to make sure she felt a part of our family. period.
That together we were all one.
We whole heartedly wanted to keep a pride and love for Ethiopia, but we needed to establish a strong family bond first and foremost.
Now that we feel confident in that bond we've been talking and learning more about Ethiopia.
She knows that she was born in Ethiopia, she thinks it's pretty cool because she has friends that were "born in Ethiopia" too!
Until recently I really didn't think that she understood what that meant, "born in Ethiopia".
One day, Sam, Emma and I were shopping, I was in my usual daze of running my list of what we needed through my head, when I heard Sam saying something to Emma about when she was in my belly. Em cut him off, planted her feet on the ground, and said, "no Sam. I didn't come from mommy's belly." I was caught totally off guard. I had no idea that she had made that connection. I felt bad that our first real conversation about her birth story was about to take place in Target...but I knelt down and said "yes, Em your right." I asked her how she felt about that. We had been talking for a few minutes when I realized we were attracting quite a crowd so I told her we could talk more about it when we got home.
Of course when we got home she didn't really have much interest in talking about it.
And she didn't bring it up again.
Then a few weeks ago we heard Julie's great news. I was noticeably happy and giddy and the kids of course were wondering what was going on. I told them all about my friend Julie, and the news of her two beautiful children.
Emma was fascinated. It was like the flood gates opened and the questions just came pouring out! She wanted to know their names, what did they look like? Where does Julie live? Will she go bring them home soon and take care of them? Just like we got her when she was a baby and took care of her?
It's really hard to know just what to say to her.
The way that sounds, we got her and took care of her, it makes me feel guilty. It is far too simple. There is so much more to it than that.
Even though she made the connection about not being in my belly, she so far hasn't asked who's belly she did come from. Which I admit, I am relieved about. But I have a feeling that it won't be long before that question is asked, by a beautiful set of big brown eyes...
We absolutely want to be 100% open and honest about her birth story. But I don't want to give her more than she can handle emotionally. And I do not think that she is ready to hear about having another family. another mother. the sacrifice. the pain. the unfairness. It's too much to put on her. It's still too much for me sometimes...
I'm worried about how I will answer her questions. Many of which I will likely not have the answers to.
It started with little comments when we were out doing errands like..."oh look mommy, that baby looks just like me!" or "mommy look, that lady has hair like mine!"
I thought it was sweet to watch her make those connections.
Then last fall there was a little melt down about gloves...she wanted a pair of yellow gloves so that her hands would look like Caroline's. She was so sad and crying and begged me to make her yellow. I don't remember all of details because it was months ago, and my mommy brain is on the fritz lately, but I do remember how it broke my heart. It was the first time that she had shown any sadness about not being the same color as Caroline or the rest of our family. I knew it was a big thing. I started to struggle with what to tell her. Do I start with the why she doesn't look like us? Do I start to talk about adoption? Do I focus on how we are the same on the inside? I struggled with trying to figure out how much a four year old could really take in and understand?
So instead I started to really emphasize how beautiful and special she was. Making a point to have her hair done in a way that she liked, or wearing the pretties she so loves! When I put her cream on after her bath I would tell her how soft and beautiful her skin was. Then she'd tell me "my brown skin. my brown skin is beautiful."
She started to seemingly feel proud. of her color. of her hair.
The more comfortable she began to be in her own skin, so to speak, her personality began to shine even more.
She definitely notices color, obviously. But she seems happy and content not to be blonde haired and blue eyed. She still thinks its fun to shout out "look mommy there's another Memmers! Do you see her? She looks just like me!"
So overall, the interracial side of things seems to be going well...I'm sure we'll have times were it will be a bigger deal than others but for now, everyone is happy.
On the adoption side though, I'm struggling.
From the very beginning, we have followed Emma's lead. Trying not to give her more information than she was ready to handle. Our first and foremost priority ever since Emma came into our lives was to make sure she felt a part of our family. period.
That together we were all one.
We whole heartedly wanted to keep a pride and love for Ethiopia, but we needed to establish a strong family bond first and foremost.
Now that we feel confident in that bond we've been talking and learning more about Ethiopia.
She knows that she was born in Ethiopia, she thinks it's pretty cool because she has friends that were "born in Ethiopia" too!
Until recently I really didn't think that she understood what that meant, "born in Ethiopia".
One day, Sam, Emma and I were shopping, I was in my usual daze of running my list of what we needed through my head, when I heard Sam saying something to Emma about when she was in my belly. Em cut him off, planted her feet on the ground, and said, "no Sam. I didn't come from mommy's belly." I was caught totally off guard. I had no idea that she had made that connection. I felt bad that our first real conversation about her birth story was about to take place in Target...but I knelt down and said "yes, Em your right." I asked her how she felt about that. We had been talking for a few minutes when I realized we were attracting quite a crowd so I told her we could talk more about it when we got home.
Of course when we got home she didn't really have much interest in talking about it.
And she didn't bring it up again.
Then a few weeks ago we heard Julie's great news. I was noticeably happy and giddy and the kids of course were wondering what was going on. I told them all about my friend Julie, and the news of her two beautiful children.
Emma was fascinated. It was like the flood gates opened and the questions just came pouring out! She wanted to know their names, what did they look like? Where does Julie live? Will she go bring them home soon and take care of them? Just like we got her when she was a baby and took care of her?
It's really hard to know just what to say to her.
The way that sounds, we got her and took care of her, it makes me feel guilty. It is far too simple. There is so much more to it than that.
Even though she made the connection about not being in my belly, she so far hasn't asked who's belly she did come from. Which I admit, I am relieved about. But I have a feeling that it won't be long before that question is asked, by a beautiful set of big brown eyes...
We absolutely want to be 100% open and honest about her birth story. But I don't want to give her more than she can handle emotionally. And I do not think that she is ready to hear about having another family. another mother. the sacrifice. the pain. the unfairness. It's too much to put on her. It's still too much for me sometimes...
I'm worried about how I will answer her questions. Many of which I will likely not have the answers to.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
a little Bling for my baby!
Emma has been asking when she could get her "real ears pierced" rather than wearing the little stick on earrings I bought her...
well, today was the day!
She is quite happy with them! Can you tell?
well, today was the day!
She is quite happy with them! Can you tell?
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Farmer Sam
Today was Sam's big end of the year, class field trip to a petting zoo. Oh did the kid have a blast!
He got to see, touch, hold, ride and even milk so many different animals!! (ok that sounds weird, he only milked a cow!) And he was such a sweetheart with them! So gentle and loving.(it just makes a momma's heart pound to see such tenderness coming from her boy!)
I just loved watching him today, interacting with all the animals, showing his softer gentler side, and then with his little buddies, just being silly and playful! He is so much different in a setting of his peers...at home he seems to follow Jack's lead. Whatever Jack wants Sam wants the same.
To see him play and goof around and run and be crazy with other kids his age was really great to see.
And of course getting to spend my day with this cutie pretty much rocked!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
the home stretch
The kids have 7 days left of school. (need to get cards/gifts for the teachers)
We have 19 days until the MOVE! (lots of packing/cleaning still needs to happen)
And 23 days until both girls are in our sitters wedding! (still looking for shoes and headbands)
should be an easy breazy month!
If we can get through the next few weeks without anymore sickness it would really be helpful!
Otherwise, things are going quite well.
This is field trip season at school, which is so fun for the kids...and me too once I figured out the sitter situation for Sam and Emma since they are both home during the day.
Caroline went to Old Falls Village. Where they put her to work! She loved it, along with her bag full of "treasures" she collected along the way.
Yesterday, Jackson's class had a day at the zoo. It still cracks me up that his whole class calls him Jackson! There were a lot of chaperons which meant we were able to break up into small groups, we of course had an awesome group! I only had three boys to chase after and still I was exhausted by the end of it! Really, how do boys have sooooo much energy? We were literally running from one end of zoo to the other! I think Jack really had a fun day, and it was equally thrilling for me just to have a whole day to spend with him! He is such a cool kid! Really, I'm not just saying that because he's my son! He really is AWESOME!
Tomorrow is Sam's trip to a farm/petting zoo. I doubt he'll sleep tonight he's so darn excited!
We have 19 days until the MOVE! (lots of packing/cleaning still needs to happen)
And 23 days until both girls are in our sitters wedding! (still looking for shoes and headbands)
should be an easy breazy month!
If we can get through the next few weeks without anymore sickness it would really be helpful!
Otherwise, things are going quite well.
This is field trip season at school, which is so fun for the kids...and me too once I figured out the sitter situation for Sam and Emma since they are both home during the day.
Caroline went to Old Falls Village. Where they put her to work! She loved it, along with her bag full of "treasures" she collected along the way.
Yesterday, Jackson's class had a day at the zoo. It still cracks me up that his whole class calls him Jackson! There were a lot of chaperons which meant we were able to break up into small groups, we of course had an awesome group! I only had three boys to chase after and still I was exhausted by the end of it! Really, how do boys have sooooo much energy? We were literally running from one end of zoo to the other! I think Jack really had a fun day, and it was equally thrilling for me just to have a whole day to spend with him! He is such a cool kid! Really, I'm not just saying that because he's my son! He really is AWESOME!
Tomorrow is Sam's trip to a farm/petting zoo. I doubt he'll sleep tonight he's so darn excited!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
one day.
My mother in law Rhona always tells me that one day, my days will be easier.
This is not that day!
Emma woke up feeling "all better"! No fever. swelling has gone down. She's back to chasing after Jack and Sam!
Caroline however, woke up to find her very red and sore eyes seeled shut with goop!
I think the only one in the family who's had a good weekend is Sophie (the pup) because she has had endless snuggles with her girls!
This is not that day!
Emma woke up feeling "all better"! No fever. swelling has gone down. She's back to chasing after Jack and Sam!
Caroline however, woke up to find her very red and sore eyes seeled shut with goop!
I think the only one in the family who's had a good weekend is Sophie (the pup) because she has had endless snuggles with her girls!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
poor baby
I've always been surprised at what a tough little girl Emma is and just how strong her little body fights things off! No matter what little bug any of us pick up, Emma has rarely had as much as a runny nose!
Today she is finally sick. Down and out kind of sick!
She woke up this morning with a really high fever and a swollen hand. We got her fever to come down a little but had no idea what was up with her hand...
I talked to our pediatrician and when I mentioned her hand he thought she should be seen right away. Of course it's Saturday and they don't have weekend hours, so that meant a trip to Children's hospital.
Emma has had a little sore on her hand for the past week, I think it started as a bug bite, but it has apparently become infected! They put her on antibiotics and said to keep a close eye on her, if the fever goes back up or the swelling get's any worse we'll have to bring her back so they can put in IV's to better treat the infection.
So for now, we wait.
And snuggle our poor little baby.
Today she is finally sick. Down and out kind of sick!
She woke up this morning with a really high fever and a swollen hand. We got her fever to come down a little but had no idea what was up with her hand...
I talked to our pediatrician and when I mentioned her hand he thought she should be seen right away. Of course it's Saturday and they don't have weekend hours, so that meant a trip to Children's hospital.
Emma has had a little sore on her hand for the past week, I think it started as a bug bite, but it has apparently become infected! They put her on antibiotics and said to keep a close eye on her, if the fever goes back up or the swelling get's any worse we'll have to bring her back so they can put in IV's to better treat the infection.
So for now, we wait.
And snuggle our poor little baby.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
She's got champagne at her hose!
Congratulations to my dear sweet sweet friend Julie! and her wonderful husband Steven, after one year, six months, two weeks and 3 days of waiting they have finally found out who their children are...wonderful wonderful news!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Moving...
yes, I know.
again.
If you've known us for awhile, this probably doesn't come as a shock...or maybe it does. I don't know.
This summer Jud and I will have been married for 9 years. We are now packing to move into our 5th house!
Believe me I know how insane that sounds!
Here's the thing.
With each move we've grown. Changed.
We are finding that the THINGS that we had placed such importance, like a master suite, walk in closets, granite counter tops, media room, blah blah blah...well they just don't really have that same draw anymore.
The new house is a bit smaller and doesn't have all the bells and whistles that this one does...but we are soooooo excited and looking forward to sheding some stuff and getting back to the basics of us!!!
Oh and it's walking distance to Quinn and Matthew! I don't think it could get any better than that!
again.
If you've known us for awhile, this probably doesn't come as a shock...or maybe it does. I don't know.
This summer Jud and I will have been married for 9 years. We are now packing to move into our 5th house!
Believe me I know how insane that sounds!
Here's the thing.
With each move we've grown. Changed.
We are finding that the THINGS that we had placed such importance, like a master suite, walk in closets, granite counter tops, media room, blah blah blah...well they just don't really have that same draw anymore.
The new house is a bit smaller and doesn't have all the bells and whistles that this one does...but we are soooooo excited and looking forward to sheding some stuff and getting back to the basics of us!!!
Oh and it's walking distance to Quinn and Matthew! I don't think it could get any better than that!
Friday, May 22, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Come, come for a bit of respite in the middle of so much sadness. Come, rest awhile.
Those were Julie's words to me last week...
Since my Dad was still in the hospital and my Mom was staying at our house along with many of my siblings going in and out, I didn't think there was any way that I could or should go on the trip to visit Julie that Rebekah and I had planned...
But as you all know by now, I have an amazing husband. And he knew. He knew how much I needed this. He knew how much I needed to spend a little time away from everything that's happening here. He knew how much I needed to be with these two incredible women...he insisted that I go.
and I will be forever grateful that he did!
This weekend was exactly what I needed.
Sure we hit some exclusive poolside bars...
stopped by for a premier...
even saw some celebrities!
we stopped to take in the view
but the best part by far was just being with these two phenomenal women. These really truly are friends who touch your soul! I miss them already!
We talked, we laughed, we cried, and poor Steven had to put up with the major estrogen overload that occurred right in his very own living room! poor guy!
I have so much to say about these two...but it will have to wait for another post, things are insane here right now...
my dad is being released from the hospital today!
I'm pretty sure we've sold our house!
we are planning to go to MN tomorrow, but late last night realized we hadn't made plans for the two dogs! so, if you'll excuse me, I will now try to pull a rabbit from my hat:)
Since my Dad was still in the hospital and my Mom was staying at our house along with many of my siblings going in and out, I didn't think there was any way that I could or should go on the trip to visit Julie that Rebekah and I had planned...
But as you all know by now, I have an amazing husband. And he knew. He knew how much I needed this. He knew how much I needed to spend a little time away from everything that's happening here. He knew how much I needed to be with these two incredible women...he insisted that I go.
and I will be forever grateful that he did!
This weekend was exactly what I needed.
Sure we hit some exclusive poolside bars...
stopped by for a premier...
even saw some celebrities!
we stopped to take in the view
but the best part by far was just being with these two phenomenal women. These really truly are friends who touch your soul! I miss them already!
We talked, we laughed, we cried, and poor Steven had to put up with the major estrogen overload that occurred right in his very own living room! poor guy!
I have so much to say about these two...but it will have to wait for another post, things are insane here right now...
my dad is being released from the hospital today!
I'm pretty sure we've sold our house!
we are planning to go to MN tomorrow, but late last night realized we hadn't made plans for the two dogs! so, if you'll excuse me, I will now try to pull a rabbit from my hat:)
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Random Thoughts. . .
(Guest blogger warning: If you are expecting a post from my articulate, thoughtful and empathetic wife, you'll have to wait. She is due back Tuesday. Until then, you're stuck with her faithful sidekick. . .)
Have you ever seen a look in the face of someone you love that haunts you? A look that shares pain, sorrow and loss by it's mere existence?
This has been a very difficult past 10 days. Jess' father is sick and in the hospital. Her mother has been dealing with all that comes with your spouse of 40 years being sick. Her family has come together from 100 miles away and spent the majority of their week here. At first all converging upon the hospital, and then sharing a schedule that has meant that her dad has never been alone.
It has me wondering: Do we ever tell our spouse, kids, parents enough about how we feel about them? Why do we let little things corrode our relationships over time like rust, rather than simply acknowledging them and moving on? At what point in our lives, do we move from growing up to growing older?
I guess we all go through similar phases in getting to know our parents. We move from idolization to rebelion. From anger at their limits and faults, to recognition of our own. At some point we move to acceptance of all that they are.
And then at some point, they aren't.
I've seen something in my wife this week. Maybe it's only in times of great emotion that we see deeper into the people we love. Jess & I tell each other all the time that what we have is rare. That we are both so lucky to have met each other. That we are blessed to have this bond.
She has a deep capacity for caring and is driven to understand and question what she is told. I've always loved her for her passion and her straightforwardness. This week I saw her questioning her father's doctors. Searching the web for answers. Talking late into the night with her sister Jean. Trying to understand something that just may not be understandable.
This week I saw her set everything aside and go to her parents. I saw her talking with her sisters, giving of herself: being there. I saw in her actions, what we should all be telling each other more often. I love you. I'm here for you. You are my family. . . .
Have you ever seen a look in the face of someone you love that haunts you? A look that shares pain, sorrow and loss by it's mere existence?
This has been a very difficult past 10 days. Jess' father is sick and in the hospital. Her mother has been dealing with all that comes with your spouse of 40 years being sick. Her family has come together from 100 miles away and spent the majority of their week here. At first all converging upon the hospital, and then sharing a schedule that has meant that her dad has never been alone.
It has me wondering: Do we ever tell our spouse, kids, parents enough about how we feel about them? Why do we let little things corrode our relationships over time like rust, rather than simply acknowledging them and moving on? At what point in our lives, do we move from growing up to growing older?
I guess we all go through similar phases in getting to know our parents. We move from idolization to rebelion. From anger at their limits and faults, to recognition of our own. At some point we move to acceptance of all that they are.
And then at some point, they aren't.
I've seen something in my wife this week. Maybe it's only in times of great emotion that we see deeper into the people we love. Jess & I tell each other all the time that what we have is rare. That we are both so lucky to have met each other. That we are blessed to have this bond.
She has a deep capacity for caring and is driven to understand and question what she is told. I've always loved her for her passion and her straightforwardness. This week I saw her questioning her father's doctors. Searching the web for answers. Talking late into the night with her sister Jean. Trying to understand something that just may not be understandable.
This week I saw her set everything aside and go to her parents. I saw her talking with her sisters, giving of herself: being there. I saw in her actions, what we should all be telling each other more often. I love you. I'm here for you. You are my family. . . .
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
room for hope
I followed Julie's advise and basically stalked the Dr's today...not Dr. "Doom" we haven't seen him since Saturday after the surgery...
But one of the other partners...I asked him if it was general consensus, that it was just a matter of time.
I told him exactly what "Dr. Doom" told us, basically he said there is no way to know at this point... He is not out of the woods. There is a lot that could happen. So far he has made amazing progress. Much better than they thought he would. Just as they can't say he will definitely be OK, they can't say that this will definitely kill him. It may not sound like much, but the fact that there is room for HOPE. Well that's just huge!
But one of the other partners...I asked him if it was general consensus, that it was just a matter of time.
I told him exactly what "Dr. Doom" told us, basically he said there is no way to know at this point... He is not out of the woods. There is a lot that could happen. So far he has made amazing progress. Much better than they thought he would. Just as they can't say he will definitely be OK, they can't say that this will definitely kill him. It may not sound like much, but the fact that there is room for HOPE. Well that's just huge!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Disclaimer-this is likely to make absolutely no sense!
It's been a really rough week.
I've been debating about whether to write about it, or to take a little blog break...
And then I started re-reading many of Julie's posts, like this one And I'm realizing how much it helps to hear about how other people find a way to cope or make sense or whatever. I don't know.
I've mentioned before that my dad was sick.
It is not cancer.
It started with an infection in his pancreas.
He was in Florida, had surgery. seemed to get a little better. came home. was not better. Thursday they rushed him to Milwaukee for emergency surgery. Friday morning he had surgery number 1. Saturday morning he had surgery number 2.
I admit, before the surgery when we were sitting in his room and they were going over the risks and having him sign consent forms, I really didn't think that death was a possibility. I mean, I knew it was serious. But he's otherwise in pretty good health. Not, likely to run a marathon anytime soon, but overall healthy. We were actually joking about it! My brother told him if he saw a light to turn around and run the other way!
My dad just smiled and said, "no, if he says it's my time, then it's my time...I'm OK with that, I trust him." Gave me chills. Still does.
So the surgeries went well. I guess. Apparently just the fact that he survived the surgeries was somewhat surprising to the doctors. We weren't all that surprised. He's tough. He's stubborn. He's a fighter.
Then they told us, he may get better. He may be able to go home in a few weeks. He may continue to feel better for a few months.
a few months?
The Doctor (with the most horrendous bedside manner) could read it on all of our faces. a few months?
He warned us not to "get too excited". "Eventually this will kill him".
What the hell do you say to that?
What the hell do you do with that?
How do you go on being hopeful, when it feels hopeless?
How do look at him everyday and wonder if today is the day?
It's so hard.
And there seems to be quite a variation of coping skills amongst the 8 of us...my sister and I are looking for signs...trying to find meaning in every move he makes or word he mumbles...my other sister and brother are making lists of questions for the doctors...some are rarely leaving his bedside...and some refuse to believe that it's as bad as the Dr's say...
I guess we all have to figure out our own way to do this. to handle this. to prepare for this.
How do you prepare to lose someone your not ready to lose?
It's been a really rough week.
I've been debating about whether to write about it, or to take a little blog break...
And then I started re-reading many of Julie's posts, like this one And I'm realizing how much it helps to hear about how other people find a way to cope or make sense or whatever. I don't know.
I've mentioned before that my dad was sick.
It is not cancer.
It started with an infection in his pancreas.
He was in Florida, had surgery. seemed to get a little better. came home. was not better. Thursday they rushed him to Milwaukee for emergency surgery. Friday morning he had surgery number 1. Saturday morning he had surgery number 2.
I admit, before the surgery when we were sitting in his room and they were going over the risks and having him sign consent forms, I really didn't think that death was a possibility. I mean, I knew it was serious. But he's otherwise in pretty good health. Not, likely to run a marathon anytime soon, but overall healthy. We were actually joking about it! My brother told him if he saw a light to turn around and run the other way!
My dad just smiled and said, "no, if he says it's my time, then it's my time...I'm OK with that, I trust him." Gave me chills. Still does.
So the surgeries went well. I guess. Apparently just the fact that he survived the surgeries was somewhat surprising to the doctors. We weren't all that surprised. He's tough. He's stubborn. He's a fighter.
Then they told us, he may get better. He may be able to go home in a few weeks. He may continue to feel better for a few months.
a few months?
The Doctor (with the most horrendous bedside manner) could read it on all of our faces. a few months?
He warned us not to "get too excited". "Eventually this will kill him".
What the hell do you say to that?
What the hell do you do with that?
How do you go on being hopeful, when it feels hopeless?
How do look at him everyday and wonder if today is the day?
It's so hard.
And there seems to be quite a variation of coping skills amongst the 8 of us...my sister and I are looking for signs...trying to find meaning in every move he makes or word he mumbles...my other sister and brother are making lists of questions for the doctors...some are rarely leaving his bedside...and some refuse to believe that it's as bad as the Dr's say...
I guess we all have to figure out our own way to do this. to handle this. to prepare for this.
How do you prepare to lose someone your not ready to lose?
Thursday, May 7, 2009
World AIDS Orphans Day
Today is a big day. An important day. Please, read what Erin has to say...and really think about it. Think about what YOU can do.
World AIDS Orphans Day is a grassroots campaign to draw attention to and advocate on behalf of the millions of children orphaned by AIDS.
Here are some of the staggering facts. Please read them... please really stop and think a minute about these statistics.
There are over 15 million children orphaned by AIDS living around the world RIGHT NOW. 15 million is the equivalent to the number of all of the people living in New York, Paris, and Bangkok combined. That is an awful lot of children.
Well over 12 million AIDS orphans live in Sub-Saharan Africa, alone.
Experts believe that millions more orphans remain unaccounted for in India, China and Russia.
At least 10 million more children will be orphans by AIDS by 2010.
Do you know how many TOTAL global confirmed cases of the swine flu there have been? As of today (May 6), there have been 1,516 cases. Do you know how many people, world wide, have died of the swine flu as of today?? 31. And look at all the hype... all the action... all the caring.
Do you know how many people around the world DIED of HIV/AIDS in 2007? An estimated TWO MILLION people. That is over 5,400 people a day, dieing of HIV/AIDS. It has been estimated that now, in 2009, 6,500 people will die every day from AIDS, and an estimated 6,000 of those people will leave behind children when they die.
So today, another 6,000 children will be added to the already 15 million children world wide who have been orphaned by the HIV/AIDS crisis.
The result of being orphaned by AIDS is heart-breaking for these children. From the World AIDS Orphans Day website:
In addition to the trauma of losing a parent, orphans are often subject to discrimination and are less likely to receive healthcare, education and other needed services.
In HIV affected households lacking community support, food consumption can drop by 40% putting children at risk to hunger, malnutrition and stunting.
Impoverished and often without support to educate and protect them, orphans and vulnerable children face increased risk of HIV infection. (And there are already an estimated 2 million children currently living with HIV).
Orphans are often easy prey to many forms of exploitation: forced labor, prostitution and child soldiering.
In the United States, if a child loses a parent to accident or illness, it is considered a terrible tragedy. Such stories are covered by the media, communities mourn and show their support, etc. In Sub-Saharan Africa, parents dieing is a normal part of life. It is still a terrible tragedy for those children, but it happens so often that no one else really pays any attention.
And do you know what makes this really, truly horrible? Do you know what makes my gut twist and my heart ache? HIV IS COMPLETELY TREATABLE.
If a person contracts HIV in the United States or another country where there is treatment readily available, they have an excellent long term prognosis. Most HIV+ people receiving treatment now have close to normal life expectancies and can live in good overall health. With treatment, HIV+ children can be healthy and happy. They can go to school, grow up, go to college, have (healthy!) children, and live long enough to raise them and beyond. Without treatment, an estimated 50% of HIV+ children will die before the hit their second birthday. My Solomon was almost one of those 50%.
HIV does not have to be a death sentence, and yet for thousands of people every day, it is, because the world doesn't care enough to really do something about it.
Can you imagine for one minute if some terrible disease struck the United States (or whatever country you live in) and was killing thousands and orphaning thousands every day? Can you imagine if another country had treatment that could lead to good health and a long life, but it just was too expensive or too difficult or too much trouble to get that medicine to us? We wouldn't stand for it.
So why do we stand for it now?
I can't wrap my head around what 15 million orphans looks like. I can barely wrap my head around the 100 or so HIV+ orphans that I am trying to find adoptive families for. The numbers are staggering, and so is the need for action. Children are the future of our world, and I shudder to think about what this world will be like with so many millions of children growing up without the love and security of a family... and way too often growing up without adequate food, education and medical care. Where does that leave all of us?
Rich Stearns, President of World Vision, US said,
"I believe that this could very well be looked back on as the sin of our generation. I look at my parents and ask, where were they during the civil rights movement? I look at my grandparents and ask, what were they doing when the holocaust in Europe was occurring with regard to the Jews, and why didn't they speak up? And when we think of our great, great, great-grandparents, we think how could they have sat by and allowed slavery to exist? And I believe that our children and their children, 40 or 50 years from now, are going to ask me, what did you do while 40 million children became orphans in Africa?"
I know that it feels like the problem is way too big for us to really do anything to make a difference, but I know with all my heart that touching the life of just one, just ONE, child can truly make a difference. And if everyone touched the life of just one child, we could reach them all.
Here are some ways that you can help touch the life of an AIDS orphan this World AIDS Orphans Day.
- Get educated. One of the biggest roadblocks in getting people to care and take action is the stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS. This is not a disease that only strikes those who "deserve it" (yes, that is really how some people think!). This is a disease that strikes men, women and children... it strikes heterosexuals and homosexuals, it strikes people of all races and social classes and it strikes people in all countries. HIV/AIDS is a HUMAN problem.
Fear is another big roadblock. HIV can not be transmitted in any casual way, and people that are HIV+ are not a threat to those around them. HIV can only be transmitted through sexual contact, birth, breastfeeding and blood to blood contact (such as sharing needles).
I have written a ton about HIV/AIDS, and you can find those posts here. Once you are educated, join my Tell Two Campaign and share the truth about HIV/AIDS with others.
Two excellent books to read about the HIV/AIDS crisis and the orphan crisis are There is No Me Without You and 28 Stories of AIDS in Africa.
- Sponsor an AIDS orphan. There are many wonderful organizations out there that allow you to sponsor a child for a very low cost per month. Doing so makes a great difference in the life of that child, and getting to know the child you sponsor through pictures, updates, letters, etc. will have a great impact on your life as well. I promise. Two wonderful organizations that I work with are AHOPE for Children (which supports AHOPE Ethiopia, a home and community support program for HIV+ children in Ethiopia) and Hardthaven, a home for AIDS orphans in Ghana. I know that financially times are hard for many right now, but we live better than most people in the world and would have to sacrifice very very little to sponsor (and truly help) an orphaned child.
- Consider adopting. Adoption is only an option for a tiny percentage of the 15 million AIDS orphans around the world and it is certainly not the solution to the AIDS crisis or the orphan crisis, but for the tiny percentage of children who do get adopted, it changes their world and their future dramatically (and for the adoptive parents, it is equally amazing). There are agencies and programs placing healthy and special needs orphans from all over the world with new families. If your heart may be open to adopting an HIV+ child, I have about 100 amazing children of all ages waiting for a second chance at love, family and life.
You can read here why I believe in adoption, and you can read here why I feel so passionately about adoption for HIV+ children.
- Support From HIV to Home, an organization that helps provide care for HIV+ orphans and supports and helps parents adopting HIV+ children. They have a wonderful program to help raise money for parents adopting HIV+ children called Kids Walking Kids Home.
- Support Project HOPEFUL, whose mission is to "encourage, educate and enable parents adopting children with HIV/AIDS".
- Visit the World AIDS Orphans website for other ways to touch your heart, get educated and get involved.
Please feel free to share this post anywhere you see fit. Thanks for reading.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
the toothless wonder turns 7 today!
I really wanted to do a montage to show all the cutness that is Jackson...but I'm really short on time these days! Instead, I'm going to let hime share his autobiography with you!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Ouch!
another one bites the dust!
This time he pulled it out himself, and he was oh so proud of himself!
At Emma's check up today, she had to get four shots! The last time she had shots it was a disaster! But that time all four kids needed them...Jack went first, and well, lets just say he's the sensitive type. (with great lungs!) He started screaming and then they all started screaming...I still have nightmares about that day...So when the Dr. today, told me that Emma was due for four more, I was a bit worried. But while we were waiting for the nurse to come in with the needles, I explained to her that she was going to need to have a few pokes. This was greeted with a "but I don't like shots!" I told her I don't like shots either, and then that was it.
The nurse came in, Emma sat on the edge of the table and let the nurse poke her little legs...she didn't even flinch! In fact while the nurse was putting the band aids on Emma, she told her that she was sorry to have hurt her. Emma looked at her and said, "what? that didn't even hurt!" The nurse was so impressed with her bravery that she gave her some very cool new shades!
By dinner time tonight her legs were feeling really sore. For her to say they hurt, and refuse to walk...it must have been painful! So I propped her up on the couch armed with motrin, ice packs, and back to back Phineas and Ferb's, which she watched while sporting her new shades!
This time he pulled it out himself, and he was oh so proud of himself!
At Emma's check up today, she had to get four shots! The last time she had shots it was a disaster! But that time all four kids needed them...Jack went first, and well, lets just say he's the sensitive type. (with great lungs!) He started screaming and then they all started screaming...I still have nightmares about that day...So when the Dr. today, told me that Emma was due for four more, I was a bit worried. But while we were waiting for the nurse to come in with the needles, I explained to her that she was going to need to have a few pokes. This was greeted with a "but I don't like shots!" I told her I don't like shots either, and then that was it.
The nurse came in, Emma sat on the edge of the table and let the nurse poke her little legs...she didn't even flinch! In fact while the nurse was putting the band aids on Emma, she told her that she was sorry to have hurt her. Emma looked at her and said, "what? that didn't even hurt!" The nurse was so impressed with her bravery that she gave her some very cool new shades!
By dinner time tonight her legs were feeling really sore. For her to say they hurt, and refuse to walk...it must have been painful! So I propped her up on the couch armed with motrin, ice packs, and back to back Phineas and Ferb's, which she watched while sporting her new shades!
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