Sunday, October 31, 2010


We originally had big plans for the weekend.

At the last minute plans changed.

At first I was really sad about it, and the kids were totally bummed too. But then we realized this meant we had a whole weekend together with no plans! The house was clean, laundry was caught up on and we had the fridge and cupboards fully stocked! That almost never happens, so we took full advantage. We played tons of board games, legos, spent hours coloring guys, I even laid on the couch for awhile, I can't remember the last time I did that! It was cold outside, but nice. The kids played outside quite a bit. They play so well together. Listening to them making up games, running all over the place searching for things, it just makes me smile. They love each other so much.

Today we had another family in the area over that is leaving next week for their first trip to Ethiopia. They seemed like such a great family, I look forward to meeting their daughters one day!

In the end it turned out to be a perfect weekend.

How could it not be with these kids?

Alright Bubbie, so here are the pictures I promised!

Will is getting so big and soooo goofy!

Emma was just beyond excited that Halloween was finally here! Happiest dinosaur ever.

Caroline wanted to go the freaky route.

Jack and Sam had to go as something that "went together" They do everything together, they even shared one trick or treat bag!

It ended up being so nice outside, even the little dragon went along for the ride

Even in costumes they melt my heart!

Maybe things work out for the best sometimes...this was the perfect weekend!

Just what this family needed!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

My Family

I've been thinking about all of them a lot lately.

About our childhoods. Our differences. Our similarities.

What we've all been through this past year, and how differently we've all coped.

This week my sister Jean told me she read my blog.

I was surprised because she doesn't normally read it.

She said she cried and that we're feeling many of the same things...

We're not much for talking, my family and I, well, not about feelings and stuff.

I've pulled away somewhat from them. Which I know isn't right, but it's hard. Anything family related brings up feelings of loss and sadness and memories of my mom.

When were all together, there's still someone missing.

There's a huge void.

it's tough.

A few weeks ago I went home for a luncheon where my mom was being honored. It was a big deal. My sisters, and sisters in law were there. It was a fundraiser for something my mom would have been so incredibly proud to be a part of. Because that's what she was all about. Helping others. Touching lives.

Afterwards I went to my dad's house. - Even writing that it feels weird. I always used to say my mom's house, and my dad's cottage...


I stopped because it had been a while since I saw my dad. I check on him through my sisters, who are there.


One of them is always there, checking on him, doing laundry, paying bills, grocery shopping, etc. etc. etc ....My sister Karin actually just drove from Wisconsin to Florida this week with my dad to keep him company and get him settled. If that doesn't scream good daughter, I don't know what does.

When I stopped after the luncheon though, he wasn't home.

The house was so quiet.


So I laid in their bed.

in her spot. basically untouched in the past three months.

I thought back to those last days. in that bed.

I tried to smell her smell...but it's fading.

As I laid in their bed, I was struck by the memory of a conversation I overheard my dad having with a woman from their church who came to visit one of those last days. My dad, who is typically very NOT emotional about things, broke down a bit, when he was talking about what it meant to have all of us kids there. What it meant to my mom. I remember him saying, "this is what it's all about...I don't know how people can get through times like these without their children." Then he chuckled and said something like," now I know why she wanted so many!"

We are all lucky. to have each other.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Inquiring minds want to know...

Sweet, sweet, Tesi How she has time to blog I don't know...This hot momma has FIVE gorgeous kids AND she's a work out queen. I don't hold the workout thing against her! She's way cool! And hilarious! I can't wait to actually meet her in person! Ten of the cutest kids in the whole wide world together in one place, I don't know if the world is ready for that kind of beauty!

Anyhoo, Tesi has given me a little kick in the pants to get back to the old blog by tagging me in a survey. I'm sure you're all on the edge of your seats so here goes....

1) What is your biggest pet peeve?
I would have to say ignorance.

2) If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be and why?
I was going to say Hawaii, but Jack is sitting next to me and just said "no way, Hawaii has volcanoes!" So now I don't know. I would love to live somewhere warm, but I don't think I could be too far from my family either. I guess anywhere is paradise as long as I have Jud and these awesome kids...even if it is a frozen paradise!

3) Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Jack is next to me and yelled "NO!" so we'll go with that!

4) What is the one thing on your mind right now?
There is never just one thing! Do normal people only have one thing on their minds? Is there something wrong with my brain that I have like a bazillion things on my mind at all times? Great, now I'm worried that I'm crazy!

5) Favorite song right now?
Um, I have no idea what the name of it is, my awesome sister Kristin makes CDs for me...filled with music that I love, but I never know the names of the songs. Right now I'm listening to a CD she made after seeing Sam Brooker and his friends. mmmm Sam Brooker.

6) What talent do you wish you had?

Two things. I wish I knew how to crochet or knit, like my mom. And I wish I could play guitar, like my dad.

7) Favorite drink?
There's nothing like that first cup of coffee in the morning. Especially when Jud makes it!

8) In one word how would you describe yourself?


Now I pick a few bloggers to pass the torch...Tesi said 8 but heck I don't think I have 8 friends!

Charlotte- because the world needs Charlotte to blog! at least I do! and really, it's not like anything big is going on in her life!
Christina- because she is one of the sweetest people I hope to ever meet!
Michele- selfishly I hope she includes a picture of the cutest little peanut...oh I could just eat him up!
Lisa- because I have learned so much from her. She is one of the wisest most loving moms on earth and I would love to learn more about her.

Having fun with the new computer!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Back in the Saddle

You know, I really love this whole blog thing.

Really. I do.

I know you must doubt my love, because of the lack of posts...

But trust me, I do.

Blogging seems to help me get my thoughts together. Something, truthfully, I've always had a hard time with.

It's kind of like talking to myself, but not so crazy like.

Each day, as life happens, I constantly think, I should blog about that...then through out the day, thoughts stir around in my head. After the kids go to bed I can usually sit down and quickly type what thoughts I've gathered throughout the day.

I think there's something therapeutic about it.

I can get things out, actually share them with other people, but not even have to say them out loud.

Recently, blogging has been my voice when I felt like I couldn't speak.

I do love it.

But man, once you stop writing for awhile it really is tough to get back into it.

I don't know where to start.

Usually, once I get an idea for a post I focus on it. I think about it. I may need to set these ideas aside while I'm helping the kids with homework or giving baths, but when things quiet down I can pick up right where I left off.

But not now.

I can't focus on anything for very long. Every thought, every topic, somehow comes back to my mom.

I feel stuck because I don't want to focus on my sadness or this awful pain in my heart. That's not what I intended this blog to be. That deep and dark. But on the other hand, if I don't write about it, I feel like I'm not really being honest about anything.

There are so many great moments with the kids throughout the day, and many exciting things happening around here. I've started a few posts so one of these days I'll catch you up!

Oh and, my sister Kristin just turned 40! We had the most fabulous surprise party for her a few weeks ago. It was so awesome to have my whole family together to celebrate. Definitely reminds me how lucky I am to have such a big crazy loving family. They're pretty incredible! And fun too!


Wednesday, October 6, 2010

A day late.

Hope you'll forgive me...

Happy Birthday Kristin!!!