Saturday, October 9, 2010

Back in the Saddle

You know, I really love this whole blog thing.

Really. I do.

I know you must doubt my love, because of the lack of posts...

But trust me, I do.

Blogging seems to help me get my thoughts together. Something, truthfully, I've always had a hard time with.

It's kind of like talking to myself, but not so crazy like.

Each day, as life happens, I constantly think, I should blog about that...then through out the day, thoughts stir around in my head. After the kids go to bed I can usually sit down and quickly type what thoughts I've gathered throughout the day.

I think there's something therapeutic about it.

I can get things out, actually share them with other people, but not even have to say them out loud.

Recently, blogging has been my voice when I felt like I couldn't speak.

I do love it.

But man, once you stop writing for awhile it really is tough to get back into it.

I don't know where to start.

Usually, once I get an idea for a post I focus on it. I think about it. I may need to set these ideas aside while I'm helping the kids with homework or giving baths, but when things quiet down I can pick up right where I left off.

But not now.

I can't focus on anything for very long. Every thought, every topic, somehow comes back to my mom.

I feel stuck because I don't want to focus on my sadness or this awful pain in my heart. That's not what I intended this blog to be. That deep and dark. But on the other hand, if I don't write about it, I feel like I'm not really being honest about anything.

There are so many great moments with the kids throughout the day, and many exciting things happening around here. I've started a few posts so one of these days I'll catch you up!

Oh and, my sister Kristin just turned 40! We had the most fabulous surprise party for her a few weeks ago. It was so awesome to have my whole family together to celebrate. Definitely reminds me how lucky I am to have such a big crazy loving family. They're pretty incredible! And fun too!


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