Something that my sister said to me this week has really got me thinking...
The majority of people who read this blog, have some connection to international adoption, most likely Ethiopia specifically. We have a pretty great circle of friends! We find out who is reading who, and our read list grows and grows! My two other loyal readers are my sister Kristin, and my mother in law Rhona. Other than that, I'm not quite sure who reads this.
In this circle of friends that we have created, we've established relationships with one another, we talk to each other through our blogs, revealing our inner most thoughts and feelings, getting advice and assurance that we are not alone in what we're feeling...We talk very openly within this circle about how difficult this whole process is on us, our hearts, and our spirits. And occasionally we may brag about our kids and show off cute pictures.
So what I've been thinking is, if someone were to stumble across my blog, totally oblivious to the whole international adoption scene, how would they not think I was insane? Most of us really.
I'm certain that those who don't share our crazy-ville connection must wonder WHY? Why do we do this?
Why do we trudge through these waters blocked with bureaucracy and red tape? If this whole process is so difficult and so overwhelming at times, why?
There are those who feel "called" by a higher power...and although I admire their devotion to their faith and their strength, that is not my story.
There are those who are, for a gazillion different reasons, not able to have biological children. Once upon a time, I thought this was to be my story...But as it turns out, it is not and I can't even pretend to know anything about how anyone in this "category" feels, or how they deal with the added emotions and grief that must go along with their story.
And then there is the strange maybe most puzzling group, those of us who don't have the "calling" and maybe even have biological children at home... why on earth would we do this?
Many of us may not fit in any category...or maybe we fit into more than one...
I think even though each of our stories may be different, we all have something in common, for whatever reason we have adoption in our hearts. We are all a part of something. Something huge. Something life changing.
Why do I feel compelled to be a part of this? I have no idea how to explain it...other than adoption is in my heart.
Even with all of the worry and the heartache and the guilt, that come along with this whole process IT IS SO WORTH IT! We are making an impact on the world somehow.
Adoption has absolutely changed my life! Not just because of the beautiful little face I'm lucky enought to get to tuck into bed each night! But it's changed how I see the world. I can no longer read an article about poverty, famine, disease, without thinking of how these affect families in Ethiopia. It's not just another country anymore, it's the birth country of my gorgeous little girl. I feel like my eyes have been opened.