Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Here's where we are

So now that everyone is finally healthy again and my house is clean again...even clean enough for a visit from the mother in law this weekend! Bring on the white glove Rhons! I'm ready for ya!

...I finally have a few moments to write about whats been weighing on me so heavily lately...

Every one's asking what's going on with the adoption, have we heard anything yet...and the truth is we had decided about two months ago to wait to send in our dossier so we actually aren't even "waiting" yet.

Some where along the long the process of getting our final paperwork ready we happened to hear about two little girls in our local foster system who were in need of a family.

Kind of surprisingly, Jud and I didn't hesitate for a second. We both wanted to know more. We wanted to understand the situation. We wanted to be the family for these girls.

I say surprisingly, not because it's something I didn't think we could do, but because it's something we hadn't previously really thought much about. We talked briefly about domestic adoption this time around but hadn't really ever visited the foster system as a possibility.

But when we heard about these girls, heard a little about their lives and their struggles thus far, we both felt compelled to try. To try to be the difference in these girls lives.

You see, Jud and I know and appreciate what a wonderful life we have, together and with our extended families. So we both immediately thought of the difference we could make in the lives of these two little ones.

So we made the decision to hold off on sending in the dossier for the Ethiopia program and pursue the quest for more information on adopting through the foster system, in hopes of adding these two little girls to our family.

I started calling everyone I could think of. I talked to the caseworker, I talked to the caseworker's supervisor, I talked to the Guardian ad lietum, I talked to several people at the Children's Service Society of Wisconsin, I attended a meeting on becoming licensed in the state (which we'd have to do in order to adopt).

And the result was, we found this system is so screwed up!

I understand, with privacy laws, they can't give us much information. But the thing is, no one that I talked to had any information! No one knew what the situation was, no one knew what the plan for these two girls was, and no one seemed to know who was deciding their fate.

Still we have no answers on what is happening with these two...

I feel so frustrated.

I know the life we could give these girls.

I know how we as a family could change their lives.

And I know how loved we would make them feel.

But the system is what it is...

And hopefully it is helping someone.

We've tried not to get too emotionally involved in this case since we really didn't have much information to go on, but still it's been really difficult.

Aren't you amazed?! Me, who can't keep a secret, really held that all in for two months? (Well, maybe a few people knew!)

So now you have the story...

And after much thought, discussion, and a great conversation with our social worker in the Ethiopian program, we've decided to go ahead finishing up our dossier. I realized the notary we had used was going to expire in a few months so we need to get the documents re-notarized! So a few little things, and we're still waiting for our CIS approval but that should be soon. So not too long and then we'll be officially waiting.

I think one of the reasons we decided to explore foster/adoption is because of the increasing wait times for the Ethiopia program. This program has grown so much in the past three years, since Emma came home.

It's not to say that there isn't still need or that there aren't children waiting for their families, because that's obviously not the case, it's just the processing all of families and getting their cases through the Ethiopian court is very time consuming.

As much as I love the idea of Emma and a new one (or two) sharing their Ethiopian heritage, the idea of waiting in line so to speak...while there were children here, in our neighborhood, waiting for a family... really weighed on my heart...

But in the midst of all my doubts...last week I read several articles on the severe drought that is happening throughout Ethiopia right now, and in a way I feel reassured that now more than ever, there is a great need for families in the Ethiopian program . Sure there are a lot more families now compared to three years ago, but there are still literally thousands of children who need families. So it may take a little waiting, but I have faith that it will all work out...however it is meant to.

2 comments:

rebekah said...

thanks for the update - you KNOW I was wondering...

KMS said...

Gosh, that is so incredibly frustrating! I just heard that they were changing the laws on domestic interracial adoption.
Here's the link to the story: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90858428

Keep us posted!
XO