I know many of you are waiting for the details!
So, Friday started like all other days. Get everyone up-dressed-fed-make lunches-out the door by 7:50.
After everyone was safely in school, I had just enough time to run home clean up the breakfast disaster that was left in my kitchen and run a couple errands. Then I was back to pick up Sam at 11:10 and Emma at 11:40
We headed home with a few new movies and my list of things to accomplish before we headed back to pick up Caroline and Jack at 3:00. Jud was in a golf tournament that day, we had a babysitter planned for later that night so I could join him for dinner.
Sam and Emma were eating lunch, talking silly...I was standing in the kitchen eating my lunch, going over my list of things I was hoping to get done in the next 3 hours, when the phone rang.
I immediately recognized the number.
I stood there. holding the phone. ringing.
Thinking, answer it! answer it stupid this is it!
I started to panic, started choking on my salad--ok who I am I kidding it was a big mac--but still I started choking!
So even though I'm coughing I finally answer the phone, because I'm afraid by now it's been ringing so long they're bound to hang up!
I manage to barely get out a, "hello?"
then it gets a little a fuzzy.
It was my worker, who I've stalked--I mean talked to many times over the past few months. I don't remember what she said at first, but I remember her tone was much different...she seemed happy, I knew she was smiling, she had news!
I remember her saying, "so Jessica, I know you are open to a child up to 3"...my legs started to get a little shaky so I sat down on the kitchen floor..."what would you think about a 6 week old baby boy?"
I'm pretty sure all I could get out was "okay?"
She asked if I wanted her to read the information to me over the phone or if she should email it to me...at this point I was walking circles through the kitchen and living room, trying to keep from crying. I asked her to start reading it to me but send it too because there was no way I was going to remember a word of what she was saying...she started to read...I started to cry.
Suddenly, I thought, --holy shit! Jud!-- I shouldn't be hearing this without him!-- I started texting him-- remember he's golfing today?!
after all of the conversations we've had about---I know you have a meeting, but please leave your phone on---I promise I won't call unless it's important---we decided that texting would be a surefire way to get a hold of him no matter what! So we had a code, "champagne at our hose now" of course!
-he didn't reply!
-I kept resending. he didn't reply.
I sent him probably 8 texts before I finally realized, -he either has his phone off or it's in his golf bag...either of which does not make me happy at this point!
We ended the conversation with me on the kitchen floor,crying, and her saying something about some glitch so she didn't have the information in email format or something, so it would take a few minutes but she would get it to me shortly...
and then we hung up.
I sat for about 5 minutes. in quiet. my house is never quiet. it felt strange.
Then. again. I thought "Jud!"
I ended up calling the golf shop where he was playing, talking to the pro, making I'm sure absolutely no sense, telling him that someone needed to find Jud, somewhere out on the course and tell him "champagne at our hose", now if that doesn't scream crazy wife on the line I don't know what does!
I sat there for what seemed like forever, waiting for the email. waiting for Jud to call. I called Rebekah, because I didn't know what else to do. She calmed me down. briefly. then I started to pace around the house again. staring at my inbox with the phone tightly in my hands.
Finally the email came. Just as I started to read it, Jud called. I read it to him. I cried some more. I'm pretty sure he did too. I realized that he is actually 8 weeks old, I don't know why I thought she said 6 weeks... Then I scrolled down, and saw his face. My heart stopped. I started to cry a big old ugly cry! He's absolutely gorgeous! After staring at his picture for a few minutes, I suddenly felt this warm, settling, almost calming feeling come over every inch of my body, and I thought, yes. that's him. that's our son.