Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

People living deeply have no fear of death. ~Anaiïs Nin, Diary, 1967

I have no idea who Anaiïs Nin is, but when I stumbled upon that quote today it struck me.  

This was how my Grandmother lived.   And she was not afraid.   She was genuine and loving in everything she did,  and we have been blessed to have been in her presence as long as we have.   Even though I will forever miss her quick wit, her incredible sense of humor, her loving smile, and really everything that made her, her, I know that she was not afraid.   She was ready.   I'm quite certain that my mom was waiting to greet her...two beautiful angels.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

A little Thursday Rant

You know what I'm sick of?

Feeling put down because I am just a mom.

Not like this is anything new,  but today I had the third comment in two days coming from other women, other moms.    Not that it doesn't bother me when the belittling comments  come from men but it just feels bigger, harsher, more judgmental and frankly, infuriating  when it comes from other women.  Women who work outside the home i.e. have real jobs.

I have never judged another woman for working outside the home, wether she needs to or loves to.  

I am so sick of the working moms who think they are superior or more important, or smarter or whatever, just because they work outside the home.  

I happened to bust my ass at work all day every day at a job I love, but which does not include sick days, lunch breaks,  potty breaks,  bonuses for remembering who has library on what days, (wouldn't that be cool?) or even appreciation, or respect or acknowledgement.    This is my job.  And I love it.  Wouldn't change it for all the money in the world.

Now if you'll excuse me, the littles are sleeping so Will and I are heading off to the shower for the first time in three (or is it four?) days.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Back to School

was a  few weeks ago.

No back to school pictures. Not a one.   Four excited, clean, nicely dressed kids with backpacks and no pictures.    Ugh.   Mom fail.  again.


So far everyone is really liking school, their teachers, friends and I think just being back in a routine.    I love our school and I'm so glad that we all get to walk together every morning.   It's such a nice way to start our day.   This is our first year that all four of the bigs are on the same schedule.   One drop off- One pick up.   Which means Will is the only one home from 8 until 3.   Sounds easy right?   Just one kid all day?   Yeah, I don't do easy very well.    I've never had just one at home before.  Well, I guess I did last year because Emma was in all day 5k, but Will and I were always running errands in between drop offs and pick ups and nap times...it never really felt like I was home with him all day.

So....I decided to do something that most people will think is crazy  (Jud included:)

I'm watching a friend's twin one year olds during the school days!

I didn't really mention it to many people, not even my sisters, because I realize it sounds nuts....I finally have just one at home, why don't I just enjoy the simplicity, and maybe have a little down time?    Well, here's the thing, I wouldn't do that.   I didn't do that last year.  I was always working on some project, repainting someone's room, or running around town in search of some new rug or shower curtain or... whatever...(can you say ADD?)   My point is, I didn't take the time to just sit and play with Will.   Not like I did with the other kids.   And I felt a tremendous amount of mommy guilt for that.

I was missing the best of little Will.  

So when my dear friend asked about watching these cuter than cute babes,  I had a hard time trying to find a reason to say no.

My initial thought was this would force me to really be home all day.   I mean have you ever tried to bring three toddlers anywhere?   It's really quite comical:)    

But now that the boys have been here for a few weeks,  I realize I don't feel forced to be home.   I really love it.   This is what I do.   I love spending time with kids.  

It's been so great, I have time to play with just Will when the little boys are sleeping, Will has time to work on the art of sharing when the little boys are awake,  and when Will is sleeping I get to snuggle little wee ones again:)

I mean really I get paid to watch this?   What on earth could be better?

Wednesday, September 7, 2011