Monday October 23, 2000
I am starting my 26th week of pregnancy and my 4th week of bed rest. I think about you constantly. I wonder what you'll look like, if you'll have hair. I worry if everything will be alright and you're healthy and if you'll stay put long enough...
Your Bubbie always says that she won't ever let you forget what a little shit you're being right now! Daddy just says your being a stubborn little girl just like me. We're all so excited to meet you...just not yet!
Lately you've really started moving around more. Last weeks ultrasound told us you're about 1lb.12oz. Nana was in town visiting (taking care of me) so she took me to the doctor appointment. She was able to see the ultrasound and hear your heartbeat. Her face lit up! She said it was the first time she had been apart of something like that, things are much different from when she was having babies! Having Nana here was really a big help. Helping with the house stuff to give daddy a break, and just keeping me company. I'm really glad she was here.
Sunday January 29, 2001
Sweet Baby Girl you're finally here!
Here are the details, before my brain turns to mush...
Dr. B was able to turn you around on Wed. Jan 24...OUCH! is all I'll say about that.
Then on my check up on Friday he said you were making good progress, so we could wait to see when you'd come, likely a few days yet, or since he was on call for the weekend we could induce on Sunday, you're actual due date...We chose to induce. In large part because I really wanted to be sure to have Dr. B there. After all we've been through with this pregnancy I couldn't imagine another doctor delivering you.
So, we went into the hospital at 5:30am and you were born at 5:01 pm Just in time for the kick off of the Super Bowl! Not even joking! Bubbie and I were laughing because she thought it was so sweet how Dr.B and Daddy were high five-ing only to realize that it was because of the game!
Bubbie and Nana (and Daddy of course) were in the delivery room when you were born. It was an amazing experience to say the least. The second I saw your face, I could feel my heart grow inside my chest. You were so beautiful, and wide eyed! For and hour after you were born, you just looked around. And I stared at you. My heart pounding.
and now she's ten. TEN.
Caroline is honestly a dream child. Always has been. Ever since she was a tiny baby there was always something about her. She sees, she knows, she understands. Like an old soul. Caroline is very empathetic, and true in the way she genuinely cares about other people and their feelings. She has such a kind and gentle heart.
This past year has been tough on her, with the loss of her Nana came her first real experience with death.
Not an easy thing to deal with at any age...but she's getting through and helping me and her brothers and sister along the way. She's like my mini-me sometimes when the real me is failing. She's a little mother, very nurturing.
One of my favorite things in the whole world, is the little heart to hearts Caroline and I have.
Sometimes we lay in her bed and talk about school, or friends or she'll ask questions about what's going on in the world, she's so honest and open about what she's feeling and experiencing...I hope that never changes. Our talks. Our honesty.
I dread the day she's too old to want to talk to me...
Because for now I still see this when I look at her.
and my heart pounds.