Sunday, June 27, 2010

Grief. It's what's for dinner

It has the power unlike any other emotion to completely shut you down. Hard and Fast.

It leaves you questioning the point in anything. Making it difficult to find the motivation to even get out of bed each morning.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Time

Well it's been a rough few weeks. To say the least.

As some of you may know, my mom has not been feeling well for some time.

( This is what I wrote about my mom last year...)

They thought it was pnemonia.

It's not.

It's Cancer.

Stage four lung cancer.


I can honestly without a doubt say that this has been
THE WORST WEEK OF MY ENTIRE LIFE.
I feel completely helpless.

There's nothing I can say. Nothing I can do.

I just want to be with her. When I'm sitting in the room with her I just want to climb into that hospital bed with her, just like when I was little and I'd sneak into her room in the middle of the night...But then I remember I'm not a littl girl anymore.

Suddenly, I don't know where the years have gone.

I'm filled with regrets.

I thought we'd have more time.

I don't know how to do this.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Wednesday, June 2, 2010